cosmic

I have been playing chess again lately, a little bit. Because of the weather and my schedule, I have only made it to the chess club on campus once, but every week I always intend to. My ipad has a rather good app on it, ChessWise, but I much prefer playing real people, and this is why I wish to go to chess club. The one time I went, I was the only girl that wasn’t a complete n00b and yet I was too scared to even ask any of the dudes to play, even though I sat there doing GR homework while playing my classmate (a very close game, I won in the end).

I guess, as this article discusses, girls are scared, and lack confidence, and maybe that applies to me. Maybe the shit I talk while playing is to bridge that gap. The thought of losing terrifies me, because it is so much more significant for me to fail. When I lose, I become just another woman.